I’m re-writing Shadows. Again. Not finishing the new fresh draft I started last spring, but starting all over again with a blank piece of paper. Again.

This will be at least the third fresh start on this novel and I’m not even going to think about how many revisions it’s gone through.

I’m taking a writing workshop and the feedback I received on the opening chapter was great — so great that I know this is the right thing to do. I know starting over will make this a better story and, perhaps more importantly, me a better writer, but it’s exactly the opposite of what I want to do. In fact, when I concluded yesterday that I was going to have to start all over part of me wanted to scream. Loudly.

That same part would like to stick Shadows in a drawer, leave it there and move on to a different story. I’ve learned a lot working on it (I should have, how many years has it been now?). That much is evident in the first draft I have of Twixt which is much stronger than the first draft of Shadows was. So even if I didn’t re-write Shadows the time spent on it would not have been wasted.

Sounds completely reasonable and logical, doesn’t it? Unfortunately for the part of me that wants to walk away from Shadows, the story won’t let me. I’ve tried. I’ve tried and tried and everytime I turn my back on it this story claws at my brain until I go back. I guess it’s a story I have to tell, and it’s one I won’t be satisfied with until it’s as good as I can make it. So here I am, starting all over. Again.

Wish me luck.