Tag Archives: Mrs. Claus

Mrs. Claus Christmas Songs #3

Once all the editing for Mrs. Claus was done I asked all the contributors if they had ideas for how we could promote the anthology. Jennifer Lee Rossman, brave soul that she is, offered to write Christmas carol parodies inspired by some of the stories from the anthology. I said if she did that I would feature them on my blog. Because Christmas is meant to be fun and so are parodies 🙂

Over the next couple days I’m going to share some of the resulting songs with you. I hope they’ll make you smile and I’d like to thank Jennifer for all the hard work she put into creating these — Thank you!

None of these songs contain egregious spoilers but they do contain plot points so if, like me, you prefer to go into stories without knowing anything about them, you might want to skip the songs and just pre-order the anthology.

*shifty eyes*

What? I’m just sayin’…

😉

Desperately Seeking Santa — To the tune of “Deck the Halls”

Christmas tree is trimmed and glowing
Fa la la la la, by Mrs. Claus
Weather outside: cold and snowing
Fa la la la la, la Mrs. Claus
Mistletoe’s been hung for kissing
Fa la la, la la la, Mrs. Claus
Gifts are wrapped but Santa’s missing
Fa la la la la, call Mrs. Claus

In the workshops, she’ll go searching
Fa la la la la, la Mrs. Claus
in the caves he keeps his merch in
Fa la la la la, la Mrs. Claus
Caves are dark but she will brave them
Fa la la, la la la, Mrs. Claus
From the goblins, she will save him
Fa la la la la, la Mrs. Claus

Christmas ride is quickly nearing
Fa la la la la, la Mrs. Claus
If she saves him, we’ll be cheering
Fa la la la la, for Mrs. Claus
Hurry, hurry; faster faster
Fa la la, la la la, Mrs. Claus
Stop this Christmas Eve disaster
Fa la la la la, la Mrs. Claus

*

Christmas Magic — To the tune of “Jingle Bells”

Crashing to the snow
in a pod from outer space,
Bringing joy and hope
to the human race

She married Santa Claus
Dressed in velveteen,
Photo on the cover of
every magazine

Mrs. Claus
Mrs. Claus
made his reindeer fly,
But he shouldn’t trust her
’cause it all might be a lie!

 

Reserve your copy now!

Paperback — $12.95

Direct from the publisher

Electronic book — $0.99!

Amazon

Barnes and Noble

Kobo

iBooks

Mrs. Claus Christmas Songs #2

Once all the editing for Mrs. Claus was done I asked all the contributors if they had ideas for how we could promote the anthology. Jennifer Lee Rossman, brave soul that she is, offered to write Christmas carol parodies inspired by some of the stories from the anthology. I said if she did that I would feature them on my blog. Because Christmas is meant to be fun and so are parodies 🙂

Over the next couple days I’m going to share some of the resulting songs with you. I hope they’ll make you smile and I’d like to thank Jennifer for all the hard work she put into creating these — Thank you!

None of these songs contain egregious spoilers but they do contain plot points so if, like me, you prefer to go into stories without knowing anything about them, you might want to skip the songs and just pre-order the anthology.

*shifty eyes*

What? I’m just sayin’…

😉

You’d Better Watch Out — To the tune of “O Come All Ye Faithful”

O come, all ye children, orphaned or in danger!
O come ye, O come ye up to the North Pole
Work with the Clauses
Mrs. Claus will care for you
while she helps train the reindeer,
and calculates the Nice list,
and practices carjacking,
and drinking Scotch.

*

Red to Hide the Blood — To the tune of “Good King Wenceslas”

Monster hunter Mrs. Claus
checking on the reindeer
Awful scene that gives her pause:
all of them are slain, here

Santa begs her not to kill,
but she must protect him
from the things that wish him ill
and that disrespect him

 

Reserve your copy now!

Paperback — $12.95

Direct from the publisher

Electronic book — $0.99!

Amazon

Barnes and Noble

Kobo

iBooks

Mrs. Claus Christmas Songs

Once all the editing for Mrs. Claus was done I asked all the contributors if they had ideas for how we could promote the anthology. Jennifer Lee Rossman, brave soul that she is, offered to write Christmas carol parodies inspired by some of the stories from the anthology. I said if she did that I would feature them on my blog. Because Christmas is meant to be fun and so are parodies 🙂

Over the next couple days I’m going to share some of the resulting songs with you. I hope they’ll make you smile and I’d like to thank Jennifer for all the hard work she put into creating these — Thank you!

None of these songs contain egregious spoilers but they do contain plot points so if, like me, you prefer to go into stories without knowing anything about them, you might want to skip the songs and just pre-order the anthology.

*shifty eyes*

What? I’m just sayin’…

😉

Miss Lil’ Toe Head — To the tune of “Hark! The Herald Angels Sing”

Hark! Her girlfriend had to leave
her alone on Christmas Eve
She reflects upon her scars
then hears bells and smells cigars
Joyful little Martians guys
flying down out of the skies
With their boss who makes it known:
“With Mrs. Claus, you’re not alone!”

*

Good Morning — To the tune of “Silent Night”

Magical night,
Christmas Eve night
Mrs. Claus,
works all night
Round the clock casting magical spells
Makes the sleigh fly and jingles its bells
When will she see the sunlight?
When will she see the sunlight?

 

Reserve your copy now!

Paperback — $12.95

Direct from the publisher

Electronic book — $0.99!

Amazon

Barnes and Noble

Kobo

iBooks

Cover Reveal: Mrs. Claus

Cover design by Sarena Ulibarri

When you think of Mrs. Claus, do you imagine a quiet North Pole homebody who finds complete fulfillment in baking cookies, petting reindeer and crafting toys alongside elves? How about a magic-wielding ice goddess, or a tough-as-nails Valkyrie? Or maybe an ancient fae of dubious intentions, or a well-meaning witch? Could Mrs. Claus be a cigar-smoking Latina, or a crash-landed alien? Within these pages Mrs. Claus is a hero, a villain, a mother, a spacefarer, a monster hunter, and more. The only thing she decidedly is not, is a sidekick.

It’s Mrs. Claus’ turn to shine and she is stepping out of Santa’s shadow and into the spotlight in these fourteen spectacular stories that make her the star! Featuring original short stories by Laura VanArendonk Baugh, C.B. Calsing, DJ Tyrer, Jennifer Lee Rossman, Kristen Lee, Randi Perrin, Michael Leonberger, Andrew Wilson, Ross Van Dusen, MLD Curelas, Maren Matthias, Anne Luebke, Jeff Keykendall, and Hayley Stone.

 

Reserve your copy now!

Paperback — $12.95

Direct from the publisher

Electronic book — $0.99!

Amazon

Barnes and Noble

Kobo

iBooks

 

Did you catch the part where the ebook version is less than a dollar if you order it now? Because deals don’t get much sweeter than that, do they? The price goes up upon release so you’ll want to reserve your copy now. Don’t wait 🙂

P.S. Subscribers to my mailing list got to see this cover a couple days ago and pick the subtitle (Thanks, Hal!) so if you’ve not subscribed yet, maybe you want to change that? 😉

Mrs. Claus Wishlist

Mrs. (1)

I won’t even pretend that this anthology wasn’t originally inspired by a commercial. It totally was. I watched this commercial for Marks and Spencer:

…and, after I stopped crying (every. single. time.) I started thinking about Mrs. Claus.

Mrs. Claus is often in the background of Santa Claus stories, or playing a supporting role, but it’s not very often that–like in the M&S commercial–she gets to the be star. As a middle-aged woman in a world where middle-aged women are often somewhat invisible that really spoke to me. I really, really wanted to edit an anthology that let Mrs. Claus step into the spotlight.

And on a related note, seriously what IS her first name? I mean, I’d be pretty pissed if the only way people knew me was through my relationship with my husband. “Oh, that’s Mrs. Parrish!” “What’s her first name?” “I don’t know? Mrs.?” Nahhh….

Some submissions have been trickling in but I wanted to share a wee bit of a wishlist for what I’d like to see before I started reading them. Since I haven’t started reading submissions yet (I will after posting this) I don’t know what’s in there. If you’ve already sent me a story that nails something on this list yay! If you’re stuck for an idea maybe some of these thoughts will kick something loose in your brain 🙂

Wishlist for Mrs. Claus

  • I’ve got nothing against younger versions of Mrs. Claus, and if she stars in a kick-ass story I will accept stories that feature a younger version of her, but mostly I’m focusing on middle-aged and older women for this anthology. I’d also really like to see women of colour represented in the anthology so please don’t feel constrained to white versions of Mrs. Claus.
  • One word: lightsaber
  • As always if you give me a well-imagined story set during the Great War you’re going to check a box on my wishlist.
    • *cough* https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christmas_truce *cough*
  • For me to consider this anthology successful I need to include stories set on Christmas Eve, but also stories set on other days of the year.
  • Mrs. Claus in space? Yes, please!
  • *punk. Solarpunk. Dieselpunk. Steampunk (c’mon a steam-powered sleigh? Victorian North Pole?!). Anything that fits into any one of those categories would be brilliant.
  • I like reindeer. They like games. I’m just sayin’…
  • Mrs. Claus as a ninja? Why not? Someone needs to be in charge of security at the North Pole! You can’t just leave all that magical stuff laying around unprotected…
  • Mrs. Claus as a pirate? Why not? Something might need to be stolen in order to save Christmas… or sustain the North Pole… or just because it’s shiny.
  • I’m game for a good “Something happens to Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus saves the day!” story–just so long as it doesn’t feel contrived and Mrs. Claus doesn’t go from being in the shadows, to being in the spotlight, to deciding she wants to go back to the shadows. Because no.
  • Mrs. Claus in the wild west.
  • Claus Noir.
  • This anthology isn’t only about empowerment, but it’s also about empowerment, so show me that.
  • I want stories set at the North Pole, but I also want them set in other places; tropical places, fictional places, underwater places, ancient places, future places. All. The. Places.
  • Have fun with it! Christmas is about a lot of things, but one of them is fun. My favourite Christmas movies are always the cheeseball ones that make me cry and the magical, colourful ones where people re-imagine the North Pole.

There… just a few wee hints in case you’re stuck. As always, though, the best story is one I could never have imagined by myself. I hope you’ll write one and send it my way!

 

Mrs. Claus Call for Submissions

For a long, long time Santa Claus has hogged the spotlight relegating his wife to the shadows, but no longer. Now it’s Mrs. Claus’ turn to shine!

We’re looking for stories that let Mrs. Claus (or is it Ms. Claus?) take centre stage. Whether she more closely resembles Michelle Obama, Betty White, Shohreh Aghdashlooor or Maggie Smith, Mrs. Claus must be a developed, independent character and not simply an extension of her husband. She can help and support him—of course she can—but there needs to be more to her than only that.

What’s her role on Christmas Eve? What about the other days of the year? Is she into sleek red snowmobiles or is she more of an old-fashioned magic sleigh kinda gal? Does she prefer baking cookies or kickboxing? Betting on the Reindeer Games or Avon parties with the elves?

And what is her first name, anyway?

Stories are encouraged to re-imagine the North Pole in new and interesting ways (steampunk? alien? magically relocated to the equator?) and to explore a variety of other settings as well. They can also take place in time frames both real and imagined—Christmas in 1940 Poland, Mars in 2050 or a rediscovered Atlantis in 2017 would all be welcome in this anthology.

Note: This anthology is intended for an adult audience, please don’t submit children’s stories.

Rights and compensation: Payment: $10 and a paperback copy of the anthology from World Weaver Press. We are looking for previously unpublished works in English. Seeking first world rights in English and nonexclusive right to continue to publish for the life of the anthology.

Open submission period: April 1, 2017 – May 31, 2017

Length: Under 10,000 words

Submission method: Upload story as .doc or .rtf to niteblade.submittable.com/submit

Simultaneous submissions = okay. Multiple submissions = no.

Expected Publication Date: Winter 2017

CFS: Mrs. Claus

Before my blog is completely taken over my dinosaur stuff I’d like to take a quick moment to announce this anthology I’ll be editing for World Weaver Press this year. Submissions will open in April which gives you a couple months to plot your tales before then.

Mrs. Claus

Mrs. Claus

For a long, long time Santa Claus has hogged the spotlight relegating his wife to the shadows, but no longer. Now it’s Mrs. Claus’ turn to shine!

We’re looking for stories that let Mrs. Claus (or is it Ms. Claus?) take centre stage. Whether she more closely resembles Michelle Obama, Betty White, Shohreh Aghdashlooor or Maggie Smith, Mrs. Claus must be a developed, independent character and not simply an extension of her husband. She can help and support him—of course she can—but there needs to be more to her than only that.

What’s her role on Christmas Eve? What about the other days of the year? Is she into sleek red snowmobiles or is she more of an old-fashioned magic sleigh kinda gal? Does she prefer baking cookies or kickboxing? Betting on the Reindeer Games or Avon parties with the elves?

And what is her first name, anyway?

Stories are encouraged to re-imagine the North Pole in new and interesting ways (steampunk? alien? magically relocated to the equator?) and to explore a variety of other settings both real and imagined. Stories set in Christmas in 1940 Poland, Mars in 2050 or a rediscovered Atlantis in 2017 would all be welcome in this anthology.

Note: This anthology is intended for an adult audience, please don’t submit children’s stories.

Rights and compensation: Payment: $10 and a paperback copy of the anthology from World Weaver Press. We are looking for previously unpublished works in English. Seeking first world rights in English and nonexclusive right to continue to publish for the life of the anthology.

Open submission period: April 1, 2017 – May 30, 2017

Length: Under 10,000 words

Submission method: Upload story as .doc or .rtf to niteblade.submittable.com/submit 

Simultaneous submissions = okay. Multiple submissions = no.

Expected Publication Date: Winter 2017