Like I said yesterday, I signed up to participate in the Summer of Zombie Blog Tour (2014 version) in order to promote my latest zombie book (Waste Not
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10 Reasons NOT to Include Zombies at Your Birthday or Other Party
By (C.A.) Christine Verstraete
Look around and you’ll see zombies just about everywhere, it seems.
I know after writing my book, GIRL Z: My Life as a Teenage Zombie, I haven’t yet tired of the zombie genre. I’m still working on writing new adventures for my part-Z girl character and I’m also working on other more adult-oriented projects, as well.
So, this brings up the question of holidays and special events (no, don’t even bother trying to figure out how a writer’s mind works or makes such connections)—The Question: do zombies and other creatures belong? Do they even celebrate, or should they?
Well . . . consider this if you want to have a zombie at your birthday or other party:
- Zombies stink.
There’s nothing like the smell of all that rot and decay to ruin the party. Don’t expect everyone to wait around for the cake and presents.
- Zombies have no manners.
And speaking of cake . .
Yeah, try passing around pieces of cake without getting your own arm chewed off.
- Zombies don’t know how to share.
Imagine the poor birthday kid (or adult) trying to open their gifts without having them nearly snatched out of their hands (since the hands are really what this guest is after.)
Which leads to . . .
- Zombies don’t care about holidays.
It’s pretty hard to have a family celebration or get together with friends when everyone is running.
- Zombies are too grabby.
Bad enough old Uncle Elmo won’t keep his hands to himself. Now you’ve got some smelly, rotten, dead guy (no, not the ex) grabbing at you. Oh, brother.
- Zombies are messy.
Ugh, the dog puked after eating all that stuff the kids fed him, somebody else puked from drinking too much, and now . . .Yikes! Is that a toe or something somebody left behind? And what is that? No, don’t look too close! Oh, ick!
- Zombies don’t have a clue.
Zombies really are clueless. They don’t understand that your moving away doesn’t mean you’re playing hard to get. Or that the grimace on your face isn’t an uninfected person’s version of a zombie smile.
- Zombies don’t play nice.
They can get pretty mean and nasty when you say no or push them away. Hmm, remind you of anyone?
- Zombies are… just zombies. Read the previous entries.
- And the biggest reason for NOT including a zombie at your birthday or other party:
Consider the odds on celebrating next year’s birthday or having any other kind of party. Chances are pretty big there won’t be one.
Christine Verstraete likes to write slightly different stories, as with her book, GIRL Z: My Life as a Teenage Zombie, about a 16-year-old whose fate is worse than acne. Yeah, she turns part-zombie. Read/download the Prologue and Chapter 1 at http://www.cverstraete.com/girlz-teenage-zombie-book.html. Visit her blog http://girlzombieauthors.blogspot.com.
GIRL Z: My Life as a Teenage Zombie:
Kindle and print, Amazon.com – http://tinyurl.com/mwjn6v3
Amazon.uk: http://tinyurl.com/ctyd9dz
Amazon Canada: http://tinyurl.com/d8jv9hu
Barnes & Noble: http://tinyurl.com/d889gzn
Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/Girl.Z.Teenage.Zombie.Book
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The stench of rotting flesh is in the air! Welcome to the Summer of Zombie Blog Tour 2014, with 33 of the best zombie authors spreading the disease in the month of June.
Stop by the event page on Facebook so you don’t miss an interview, guest post or teaser… and pick up some great swag as well! Giveaways galore from most of the authors as well as interaction with them! #SummerZombie
https://www.facebook.com/events/286215754875261/?ref_newsfeed_story_type=regular&source=1
LOL. I could tell from the title I was going to like this blog post and it didn’t disappoint. Thanks for the smile!
I’m glad you enjoyed it 🙂
Thanks Stephanie, like Rhonda, I like my zombies with a little laugh or two. 🙂 ha!
That’s the best way 🙂