Category Archives: Published

Published, Writing

Waste Not (And Other Funny Zombie Stories)

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Waste Not (And Other Funny Zombie Stories)

The reason I’m giving my blog over to the zombies this month is this — Waste Not (And Other Funny Zombie Stories) My newest release! 🙂 It’s not a great title, I’ll grant you, but the stories are cool. I’m better at writing stories than titles 😉 In fact, after reading it Vanessa Ricci-Thode (author of Dragon Whisperer) described Waste Not (And Other Funny Zombie Stories) as, “Hit-you-in-the-gut dark humour [that] will have you howling.” 🙂

Waste Not (And Other Funny Zombie Stories) is a collection of three of my previously-published zombie stories that I think will make you laugh. Now instead of having to purchase three different magazines to read them, you can get them all under one cover. The Kindle edition is $1.99 or free when you buy a paperback copy. And why did I make a paperback copy of a thirty-five page book (aside from the fact I wanted to put it on my ego shelf)? Well, because of all those times you’re shopping at Amazon and you’re like ‘Oh man, I just need $5 more to get free shipping!’ Well, lemme tell ya, have I got a deal for you!

…okay, maybe I mostly just wanted to be able to put it on my ego shelf LOL But still, it’s a fun little collection. Waste Not (And Other Funny Zombie Stories) includes:

Waste Not – The coming of zombies forces humankind back to the land, to a simple lifestyle where ‘Waste Not, Want Not’ becomes more than a motto, it becomes the key to survival. And revenge.

Feeders – The zombie apocalypse will affect more than just humans, explore the repercussions of walking dead through the eyes of a cat in this story guaranteed to make you smile.

…Oh My! – What if the Wicked Witch of the West wasn’t killed by Dorothy’s house? What if she couldn’t be, because she was a zombie. Dun dun dun!

One last thing? If you check out Waste Not (And Other Funny Zombie Stories) or if you’ve read any of the individual stories and enjoyed them, would you consider leaving me a review at Amazon or Goodreads? I would appreciate it 🙂

In the meantime, if zombie munchkins don’t really sound like your thing (and if that’s the case how on earth did you end up on my blog? LoL) but other kinds of zombies make you happy, check out the Summer of Zombie Blog Tour. It even has t-shirts! (Dudes, my name on a t-shirt? My ego wouldn’t LET me say no LoL) Or just check back here, I’m going to be hosting some zombi-rific guest blogs over the next few weeks. You won’t want to miss ’em 🙂

Published, Reviews, Writing

Published: Shattered

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Kzine9coverI thought I’d made this announcement already, but turns out? No. I did not. Things like this are why I need Google Calendar, HabitRPG and multiple physical to-do lists to avoid forgetting things. And apparently, sometimes even that isn’t enough >_<

So.

My short story, Shattered, is included in the most recent issue of Kzine. I’m pleased with this story and proud that it found a home with Kzine which is a magazine that has always treated me right 🙂

One upside to my being slow about making this announcement is that the story has already been reviewed (along with the entire rest of the issue) over at Wizzley.com. They said:

What do cathedral gargoyles do at night? Well, shag, apparently, but they mustn’t be seen moving by humans otherwise they would shatter and cease to exist. But when a vandal knocks one off its pedestal, to what length would his lover go to get him back? Both violent and tender, this has to be the first gargoyle love story I have ever read.

You can check out the rest of the review here, and pick up a copy of Kzine here.

Lastly, because why not? Here’s a short excerpt:

His wings curved like scythes over his back, reaching the ground behind his heels and swooping up over the horns that crowned his head. Spider web cracks marred their surface, but the lines, oh, the lines. They made her want to growl, press her back against his chiseled chest, and feel him tight against her, his claws digging into her haunches just like last night.

But it was daylight, and so, even though she was perched at the very top of the cathedral, she daren’t even twitch a toe lest she be seen by someone below. Ever since the curse if one of her kind were seen to move by mortal man they would be shattered to dust and scattered to the winds.

The night was their time.

Published, Writing

Published: Share

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Trafficking in Magic / Magicking in TrafficI am ridiculously pleased to announce the publication of my story, Share, in Trafficking in Magic, Magicking in Traffic. Ridiculously 🙂

My contribution is about a flesh golem named Share, who is fascinated by blood. I’ve included an excerpt below:

I was working in the kitchen, cutting up vegetables for Master’s dinner. I tilted the blade up to the light and looked at myself in it, then angled it differently to see the flashes of whiteness cast by the overhead florescent bulbs.

I glanced down at the pure white tiles on the floor, shifted the blade so I could see them reflected darkly on its underside.

The tiles were missing something.

I stuck out my thumb and slashed through it with the blade.

A dull thud sounded as my thumb hit the floor. I looked expectantly at the stump attached to my hand. No blood. I peered down at the floor, and the piece of meat that lay there. No blood. Frowning, I bent over and grabbed my thumb from the floor and squeezed it, trying to wring out even a single drop of ruby liquid.

Nothing.

Intrigued? Trafficking in Magic, Magicking in Traffic is available at Barnes and Noble and, if you really need to support them, Amazon.

 

Published

Translated: Waste Not

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AlgernonMy fun zombie tale, Waste Not, has been translated by Silver Sära and published in the most recent issue of Algernon. This is my very first translated story and I think it’s pretty awesome that the language is Estonian. This publication is a fantastic way to start off my week. Check it out:

Ära raiska

One of my favourite discoveries from this process came when I ran part of my story through Google translate. The phrase ‘Waste not, want not’ appears in my story, but when Google translated it back to English from Estonian it became “Waste not, then do not miss seeing” which I love. I think that will need to become a short story title at some point 😉

I’d like to add a shout-out to my friend Deborah Walker. Without her I would never have thought to submit to Algernon and what’s even cooler is that it’s my great pleasure to share this table of contents with her. Thank you, Deborah!

Published, Writing

Published: Seedpaper

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Mythic Delirium 0.4Not only has my short story, Seedpaper, been published in the most recent issue of Mythic Delirium, but it is currently being featured on the website as well. You can read it complete free right here and then pop over here to read the featured poems for April by Lynette Mejía and Jane Yolen!

My list of favourite stories I’ve written is always evolving but right now Seedpaper would be in the top three so consider popping over and giving it a read. I don’t believe you’ll be disappointed if you do 🙂

Poetry, Published

Published: What Won’t Wait

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The Stray BranchMy poem, What Won’t Wait, is included in the current issue of The Stray Branch. Some of their stories and poems from this issue are available on their website for free. Mine is not among them LoL but they may give you an idea of whether or not you’d like to purchase the full issue.

It seems appropriate that this poem be published now. I wrote it as a part of a poem-a-month challenge, just like the one I’ll be starting on April 1st 😉

Poetry, Published

Published: Hereditary Delusions

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Every Day Poets Logo

This Sunday’s prompt is a first line: “When the dust settled, a man stood there, clothed in white.”

I used the prompt right there (supplied by Beth Cato to NaNoLJers) to write a poem entitled Hereditary Delusions which was published today at Every Day Poets. As you’ll see when you read it, I didn’t use that exact line and I didn’t use it to start the poem but it inspired it nevertheless. Sometimes when I post story prompts and such at NaNoLJers people email me and say ‘Can I just change this–‘ Dude, they are just story prompts. They aren’t meant to feel restrictive, exactly the opposite, in fact. I think it’s important to know that it’s okay to bend the rules sometimes*–especially when it comes to finding inspiration.

…anyway, I’ve totally gotten off the point of this post which was that Hereditary Delusions is up and available online for you to read for free, so please take a peek and let me know what you think 🙂

*Those times never include when it comes to following submission guidelines though LOL

Published, Writing

Published: The Other Side of the Door

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My story, The Other Side of the Door, is included in Issue #8 of KZine. I love this story. I love this story.

I wrote it while we were on vacation last year. On this particular evening, we were in Digby Nova Scotia staying at the Come From Away Inn, right by the water. Our room had a balcony that opened up to the ocean and I spent a lot of time out on it looking at all the different kinds of watercraft, taking photos and soaking up the atmosphere. In fact, I wrote The Other Side of the Door the very same night I took this photo from our balcony:

OutOfTheFog

This is also a very personal story to me, which is not to say it’s autobiographical by any means LOL but I did pick bits and pieces from it out of my own childhood. As you can imagine that makes it extra special to me, and makes me both excited and nervous about sharing it with the world. I do hope you’ll check it out though 🙂

KZine #8 available on Amazon

 

April PAD, Published

Published: Their Closet Existence

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I felt like I should go take a photograph of my closet to go with the announcement but after about half a second of thought I dismissed that idea LoL

My poem, “Their Closet Existence” was published today on Every Day Poets. On its surface this is a poem about mine and Jo’s closet, but on a deeper level I think it’s about who we are. Deep or shallow, I am really proud of this poem and I hope you’ll take a look and give it a read.

Poetry, Published

Published: The Choice

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My poem, “The Choice”, was published in this month’s issue of Disturbed Digest. Bonus points? My name made it on the cover. I love it when my name makes it on the cover 🙂

“The Choice” is a short little zombie poem that I am quite fond of, and I am totally blown away by the company its keeping. I mean, do you see those other names on that cover?

You can pick up a copy of this issue by clicking on the cover image (which will take you to the store).

 

Poetry, Published

Published: Potty Party Girl

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Gold Dust MagazineMy bizarre little poem Potty Party Girl is now available in the latest issue of Gold Dust Magazine. I’d never in a million years imagined I would get Potty Party Girl published before I stumbled across this magazine, but when I did I couldn’t resist submitting it. I suspected the fit might be perfect. It turns out the editors agreed with me.

If you click on the cover image over there it will take you to a page where you can download this magazine in several different formats, or read it online for free. If you read my poem I would very much like to know what you thought 😉