I’ve blogged about Philosopher Quinn before. This story by Jens Rushing was included in our March 2008 issue and I really enjoy it still, four years later. Is it the most well-written thing we’ve ever published? Um, no, but I think it might very well be the most fun. The phrase ‘…to chase camels. Good times!’ has become a part of our family’s lexicon because of this story.

Here, just a little sneak peek:

“I’m sorry,” said Maris, wiping her eyes. “That’s very nice and all, but — what are you, sixteen?”

“Eighteen and three-quarters. What of it?”

“A teenager. Where’d you get Gretch and Chaggs?”

“Cheggs. They were family servants, but I offered them the chance to serve in my paradise, and they leapt at the opportunity.”

“Beats shovelin’ stables,” Gretch said.

“Verily, captain, our thanks is right bottomless. Does it please the captain for me to sop his boots with my tongue? The mud is honey in my mouth,” Cheggs said.

“Disgusting peasant!” Quinn kicked Cheggs, who howled and begged for another. “You see I am quite occupied keeping these curs in line. But that’s what they are — curs compared to philosophers like you and me. Mostly me. We are of a different breed than these villains. And that is why I have decided to allow you the honor and privilege of becoming my slave.” He smiled magnanimously.

Maris arched an eyebrow very slowly, as if the eyebrow weighed half a ton. “I honestly don’t know what to say.”

Quinn nodded graciously. “You display a certain animal cunning that I find endearing. In time, I may condescend to take you as a concubine.”

“Now I can think of a few things to say.”

If that made you smile, check out the rest of the story. If not, well there are lots of other stories you might find more to your taste over at Niteblade.

~*~

This post has been written as a part of the Blogging from A to Z Challenge. My theme this year is ‘Niteblade‘, which is the magazine I publish. I chose this theme to help draw attention to the magazine during this, it’s 2nd annual fundraiser.

My first post in this series was about choosing stories and poems to nominate for awards and I’ve gone through a similar process in deciding what to write about for these posts. Not only did I have to choose stories and poems I loved, but they also had to fit with the A-Z theme. Tricky!